Star My Date : Best : Funny and horrible date stories

I met this guy online, and he wanted to hang out. I thought he was cool so far, so I went along with it. We met up at a restaurant, I won't be specific. I'm a naturally shy person to begin with. I arrive there to find him sitting in the back of the restaurant with his laptop and headphones on. Instantly I thought to myself, "Oh jeez, what have I gotten myself into?" This guy had BIGGER breasts than I did! He was all sweaty like he just ran a marathon; your regular grease monkey. And when he spoke, I just wanted to die. He had a LISP. On just about EVERY word. I sat there awkwardly for what seemed like hours. He went on babbling about things I didn't care about; I was barely paying attention. I couldn't stop focusing on his lisp and man boobs. He'd make awkward poses and say really weird th… Continue Reading ()

I went out on a date last week and half way through the date, he says "you don't remember me do you"? I honestly said "No, I don't, how would I? He said I met you in a bar a couple of years ago and you gave me your phone number and I guess I was a little persistent because you told me to "Get a Clue @$$ hole" then hung up on me. I could pretty much bank that date was going to go nowhere.… Continue Reading (Midland, MI)

I went on a blind date with a girl to a local coffee shop, Coffee Chaos. When she arrived, she had brought a friend with her because she was so afraid of meeting new boys. This girl wasn't attractive, but I thought I would do my best to see if she had personality. I started trying to talk to her after we ordered, and to add insult to injury, she completely ignored everything I was saying and was reading the closed captioning from the television. I looked at her friend for advice and she was as clueless as me.… Continue Reading (Midland, MI)

I took the train to Barcelona to meet a friend for New Years Eve. My seat just happened to be right next to another tax lawyer. Living in the United States, I never met one randomly, only at work or at tax conferences. And she was an attractive Honduran tax lawyer living in the same town I live in here in Spain. We don’t speak the same language, but we were able to communicate well enough to meet up the following week after one of her exams (she is studying to get credentialed to practice law in Spain) to celebrate being done with it. We went pincho bar hopping, which is my favorite thing to do in the world now (can’t explain-you’ll have to come visit to find out what it is). Then she wanted to go play pool, which is a favorite past time of mine when I have time. Who would have thou… Continue Reading (Pamplona, Spain)

So a little background info before I get into my worst date ever…

6 months prior to worst-date-ever I’m getting crazy with some friends at this one party…Everything’s all fine and dandy until one of the guys whips out his camera. And being the horribly drunk partier that I was that night I steal the camera and set off to take (in my mind) some dead sexy pics of myself….with a few girlfriends…and fewer clothes (I promise I’m never like this…anymore). So I wake up the next morning, not exactly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed but smart. And sneaky. I steal the film (yep this is way back in the days of film) out of the camera (Hallelujah!). Convinced that I have successfully gotten away with being an idiot and marveling at my own sneakiness, I happily do the walk of shame out of the party and… Continue Reading ()

I was going out with my girlfriend and her boyfriend and so they thought they would invite a friend of theirs to go out with me. (WTF did I ever do to them) He shows up at the restraurant and he is about a foot shorter than me and wearing those orthapedic shoes. (you all know the ones) So I try to be nice and we go through dinner with casual talk and then we go to the bar. He walks in like we are this couple and I nicely tell him to back off. Then we are talking and I find out he has a WIFE!!! ( Are you kidding me) I go off on him and I go and circulate through the bar and find this nice guy to talk to. (this gets better KEEP reading) He comes up to the bar where we are at and sits on the stool behind us and all of a sudden he puts his hand up my skirt!! I turn around and slap him and star… Continue Reading ()

I met a girl on a dating site and we seemed to hit it off, so we set up a date. Before going out, we were supposed to watch a movie at her house. About 30 minutes into the movie she started playing with my shirt buttons and really wanted to make out. This was very uncomfortable because her parents were staring at me the entire time.… Continue Reading (Bay City, MI)

This was not our first time to hang out. I picked him up only to arrive at our destination ... the bar in downtown Saginaw. It was the last time I was going to see him becuase he is moving to Virginia. He talked to all of his friends, never introduced me and barely said to words to me. I took the hint and went to party with all of the other fun bar goers! … Continue Reading (Bay City, MI)

I just got back from the worst date EVER! We started off at Cafe Zinc where she ordered french onion soup and had nasty onion breath the rest of the date. We then went out to city forest to do some sledding and she broke both of my sleds and didn't even apologize. After sledding we went to Starbucks and she asked for a job application. Who does that??? Then she kept going on and on about some guy. When we were in the car, that Kings of Leon song came on and she started singing at the top of her lungs but it sounded more like a wounded giraffe taking it final breaths right before dying. I had a pretty good time but the girl is obviously crazy and the worst part of the whole ordeal is that I work with her and will have to talk to her on Monday... can you say awkward???? … Continue Reading (Midland, MI)

I met a girl at a library and got her phone number, and for our first date I went over to her house to pick her up. We're casually talking and she just takes off her shirt without being provoked. She said she didn't have modesty, but I walked out of the room and told her that I did. Later that night she asked me to have sex with her and I said no. A month later she committed suicide.… Continue Reading (Midland, MI)

You need to know a bit of background info to appreciate this date: Earlier this summer, I went on a date with a girl from the local college who turned out to be mostly crazy(I'll post this later). For the sake of this story, I will call her "Betty". I didn't talk to her after the date but still had her phone number saved in my phone under "Betty" About a month later, I started hanging out with a different girl who was also named "Betty." This Betty was a school teacher at a ghetto school in a bad part of town. She was in my phone as "Betty2"

The story:
At work one day, I got a text message from "Crazy Betty" asking me if I would go to a homecoming type dance with her at her school. I didn't look closely at the text and assumed it came from the teacher "Betty" and she was asking me… Continue Reading (Midland, Mi)

As we sat in the car enjoying pointless conversation, I shifted in my seat feeling slightly uncomfortable. You see, I already knew before the date that David clearly was not the one for me, but why not give love one chance… right? Earlier in the night, we met up at a bar for martini cocktails and entertainment. A few too many later, David's true colors were showing. We were in deep conversation about my love for the beach and outdoor life, when I accidentally mentioned that sometimes I occasionally skip the shower and head straight to the pool.

“So, what’s your girl smell like?”

Appalled, I laughed out of embarrassment, and thought, “he is asking about my vagina!” Before I had time to respond, another question came rolling off his tongue, “So, you just let her marinate for a f… Continue Reading (Midland, MI)

I met a guy through an on-line dating site and we decide to go to dinner at a local restaurant. We meet and everything seems fine. We go bowling after dinner, and nothing major happened we just continued to chit chat. The date was nothing special, a real connection was not made, but at the end of the evening when we are parting ways, he leaned in to kiss me. I was so startled, I yelled "Oh" really loud and flinched. I managed to turn my head in time so he could french kiss my cheek rather than me. I was so startled I just got in my car and left. I am sure the mouth full of makeup wasn't a fun end of the date for him.… Continue Reading ()

This happened about five years ago. I met this girl online (that right there should have told me that this was going to end badly) and we had met a few times. Something seemed off about this girl but for the most part she was fun to hang out with. One night she called me to see what I was doing and if she could come over. No problem. Anyways, she gets to my house and we are sitting out on the deck and she mentions that she wouldn't mind drinking a few cold beers. No worries. I go out and grab a 12 pack of beer. So we are talking and so on and after about two hours she wants to know if I feel like heading out to see some rock band that is playing at a local bar. No worries. We get to the bar and she orders a pint of vodka tonic and I order a beer. So I am talking to some friends and so on a… Continue Reading (Worcester, Ma)

This took place quite a few years ago...I was on a rec league volleyball team with this good-looking guy that a few of the other girls on the team were after, which actually made me not that interested in him initially. I ended up becaming friends with his sister and she told me that he liked me and talked me into calling her brother. We went out and had a run of the mill first date - dinner and a movie.

We then hung out another time and went clubbing in another city with a friend of his. But, every time we went into a bar, he would leave me with his friend as he ran around casing the place first...hmmm...looking for others girls he was dating? I don't know...Anyway, as I was getting out of his vintage car after our long drive home, I spilled my drink all over the front seat and w… Continue Reading (Buffalo, NY)

So a million years ago when I was still in High School my best friend "Mike" was dating a girl named "Jane". Mike kinda freezes up like a deer when dealing with women. Because of this his relationship with Jane isn't going very well. So, he asks me to come along on a double date, show him some pointers. For the date, he is going to fix me up with "Heather". Heather is the girl who originally introduced Mike and Jane. Heather also happens to be interested in Mike, though he doesn't know it. I can't fathom the teenage girl mind on why she would set him up with someone else. Staying on point, neither Mike or I know that Heather is interested in him. So we are off to see a movie. Mike is the kind of guy who lets the movie absorb him and tune the rest of the world out. He is totally… Continue Reading (Two Rivers, WI)